Am I F***ed?! Lab Panels
(a.k.a. “Bodycam Footage for Your Organs”)
Our lab panels are basically a full-on medical incident breakdown for your insides, like running bodycam footage on your liver, kidneys, heart, hormones, and metabolism to see if anything’s acting like a future “Florida Man” headline. We pull blood, run it through the lab equivalent of a SWAT debrief, and flag anything that looks sketchy before it turns into a full-blown spicy situation (heart attacks, diabetes, burnout, etc.)”
Developed in collaboration with Brandon Herrera “AK Guy” and Donut Operator, this platform provides accurate, actionable lab insights for individuals who take their performance and recovery seriously.
From long shifts to long range days, understanding what drives your body is key. Our AI visualizer helps you track biomarkers linked to strength, focus, endurance and more – without the guesswork.
Choose a performance or recovery-focused lab package.
Visit a nearby lab or use an approved at-home collection kit.
Your secure dashboard visualizes results and explains what they mean — simply, clearly, and with accuracy you can trust.
Choose a performance or recovery-focused lab package.
Visit a nearby lab or use an approved at-home collection kit.
Your secure dashboard visualizes results and explains what they mean — simply, clearly, and with accuracy you can trust.
Panels designed for real-world performance.
Bundle of lab tests done when you’re not obviously sick, to check overall health, catch problems early, and decide whether your current lifestyle is a “good shoot” or a “bad shoot” for your long-term health. Plus, whenever you are dead, you can’t say “take it from my cold dead hands”.
A lot of people say ‘take it from my cold dead hands.’ But, none of that stuff matters if you don’t get involved now.” – Brandon Herrera
Our Survive SHTF Panel is for those who want to thrive with the roaches in case Brandon doesn’t save America. These people have spent too many hours convincing others the AK-50 is the ultimate SHTF weapon and they want to survive it to prove it. Or maybe they want to survive SHTF just to keep sovereign citizens in check. This measures resilience, stress response, and performance hormones.
Our AI Visualizer translates any labs you have had in past into a rap sheet for your past health.
You can upload any PDF, picture, or other file that contains your past labs or even data like body composition to compare to current
Noctor means “Not Doctor”
– your on-call digital medic.
Noctor AI gives you instant, personalized insights based on your lab data — turning raw numbers into actionable guidance for training, recovery, and daily wellbeing.
Ask questions, get answers, and see how your biomarkers translate into real-world performance decisions.
Stop guessing, start tracking.
Order your panel, get your results, and see your health like you see your training metrics — clear, measurable, and actionable. See if you’re built different… or just running on caffeine and denial.
